Welcome to my adventure. This blog started out focused on parenting and school but now that Katie's nearly baked, it's way more about me these days. My experiences, more likely my point of view and good times to share.
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Saturday, February 4, 2012

They tell me 50 is the new 30. I don't think so.


I turn 50 tomorrow. I was fine with it until about six months ago went it felt like everything went sideways. My best friend got breast cancer, I got a thyroid infection and suddenly mortality was scarier than any Freddy Kruger movie.

So, being a writer, I had to make a list of 50 things that are bugging me. My 30 versus 50 list. I bet there something on here that might resonate for you - and it if doesn't, you're not 50 yet! 


Please! Comment with your 30 vs 50 moments. Love to hear them.


The Old 30
The New 50
1
Examining my face for zits.
Examining my face for old man whiskers.
2
Fish oil for my cat's hairballs.
Fish oil for my heart.
3
Perfectly full eyebrows.
Andy Rooney eyebrows.
4
Avoiding dirty old men.
Flirting with dirty old men.
5
Nursing my colon after a spicy meal.
Prepping my colon for a picture taking adventure.
6
"Are you a Cancer"?
Friends with cancer.
7
Not sleeping because the night is calling!
Not sleeping because monkey brain is calling.
8
Hitting the clubs at 10pm.
Hitting the sack at 10pm.
9
Where did I park the car?
Where did I put my keys?
10
I totally didn't expect that!
I so knew that was going to happen.
11
Roller coasters are awesome!
Roller coasters mean whiplash.
12
The unexpected missed period (pregnant?!)!
The unexpected missed period (menopause?!)!
13
Friends talking about their hangovers.
Friends talking about their ailments.
14
Getting mail from Planned Parenthood.
Getting mail from AARP.
15
Sobriety tests.
Cholesterol tests.
16
Needing to try everything.
Happy just watching.
17
Fear of falling (drunk).
Fear of falling (bones breaking).
18
Not getting why people like the Grateful Dead.
Not getting why people like Dubstep.
19
Savings account?
Retirement account!
20
Knowing every brand out there cared about us.
Knowing nobody but pharma cares about us.
21
Finding a bra that looks good through clothes.
Finding a bra that helps me look like I have boobs.
22
Having cats because they are cool.
Having cats because they are easy.
23
Getting sun glasses to make me look cool.
Getting reading glasses because I freaking can't see.
24
Sitting in a meeting that is taking forever.
Sitting in bed realizing another week flew by.
25
Planning to buy my first house.
Planning to retire and keep my house.
26
Being a flirt.
Being a cougar.
27
Posing for pictures to hide a double chin.
Posing for pictures to hide my turkey neck.
28
Fear of getting busted for having weed.
Needing weed so I can bust a move.
29
Getting excited about new technology - I am an early adopter!
Getting freaked about new technology - what? I have to learn something new.
30
I got cold because I refused to wear a jacket over my outfit.
I get cold because I got a chill and my huge coat isn't keeping me warm enough.
31
Believing a President could change everything.
Knowing a President can't do a damn thing with a hostile Congress.
32
Getting noticed when I drive around with the car roof down.
Nobody noticing me. At all.
33
My friends wanted to go for drinks.
My friends want to go for coffee.
34
Pulling my hair up to get it out of my face.
Tugging my hair down to try and get some near my face.
35
Trying to figure out all the things I should do before I die.
Trying to figure out if I can pay off my mortgage before I die.
36
Believing in opportunity.
Believing in hard work and a touch of luck.
37
Being called immature.
Being called "ma'am".
38
Loving romantic movies (how sweet!).
Hating romantic movies (that so doesn't happen!).
39
Checking my weight every day.
Checking my blood pressure every day.
40
Missing the happy hour freebies.
Not qualifying for senior citizen discounts yet.
41
Deciding if I should get renters insurance.
Deciding if I should get long term care insurance.
42
Looking forward to Christmas because it was magical.
Dreading Christmas because it comes around too damn fast.
43
Thinking having kids will be so hard.
Thinking having my kid leave for college will be so hard.
44
Waking up at 11am and thinking, just one more hour.
Waking up at 6am and thinking, crap, I gotta pee.
45
Working hard because I am building my business.
Working hard because I need to earn while I can!
46
Buying hair color to cover the bad blonde I chose.
Buying hair color for "gray hair" so I don't look brassy.
47
Saving to buy that thing I really want.
Hustling to give more crap to the Goodwill.
48
Hating change because they way we were doing it was so cool.
Hating change because I just can't adapt that easily.
49
That pain in my chest is heart ache. The jerk.
The pain in my chest might be a heart attack. Crap.
50
Life is just starting to get good!
Life is more than half over.

1 comment:

  1. I love it! I'm right in between those 2 ages, but I sure feel like I'm closer to 50 than I am to 30. And I see you managed to have a kid in there sometime without mentioning any sex at any age - lol!

    ReplyDelete